Lately, I've had a very difficult time staying motivated. I'm not sure why exactly, perhaps there are simply too many distractions but I've been completely unmotivated regardless of the particular reason. All I think about is writing yet somehow I've been in a slump. I intensely dislike it. I love to write. I love to research. I'm not sure what it is that makes me feel like this but I want it to be over. The sooner the better. Luckily I do have some things to look forward to this month.
For instance, my birthday is coming. To be honest, I'm not exactly looking forward to having my birthday but I am looking forward to being past that day. I haven't had a truly enjoyable birthday in a very long time. It's made me weary these past years and worse than that I usually suffer a bout of depression. Last year was definitely one of the worst I've ever had. All I wanted was a good birthday. I think that's what everyone wants - whatever that entails for them personally. For me it's having people around that care about you. Part of the problem with my birthday is that it falls so near Thanksgiving and sometimes it is Thanksgiving (to clarify, Canadian Thanksgiving happens on the second Monday of October). That means people always have other things to do whether it's with family or friends. Birthdays are so stressful.
Luckily, I will be going on a week trip to British Columbia very shortly. It's a province immediately to the west of Alberta. It's incredibly lush, mountainous and in many ways majestic. I hope I find some peace and quiet there, perhaps relaxing in another place will bring back my motivation.
In case you were wondering, my birthday is October 9th (I share it with John Lennon).
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