In my previous post I mentioned being grilled by a Japanese company for a position as an ESL teacher. I've been in constant contact with a representative from the company and after completing a questionnaire, essay and grammar test, along with submitting two references, and a copy of my degree and passport - I finally have an answer. While it is conditional on submitting a third reference, the representative told me she is 99.99% certain she was going to hire me. She wants me to start looking for flights to Toronto for orientation day. My tentative start date is August 18. I told her I would be more comfortable with waiting until it was official. I won't have the third reference until next week, so at least it gives me some time.
Time? Time for what? Well, last Friday (April 4) I had an interview with another possible employer who hires in Quebec (technically a government job). The interview was really successful - it was comfortable, I answered the questions professionally and there was chemistry with the interviewer. He said he would give me an excellent recommendation but it was ultimately up to the employer in Quebec whether they wanted to hire me or not. It's for a position as a language assistant and it would be very similar to the Japanese job. They'll take longer to reply with an answer so I'm hoping that I hear back from them before I send in my third reference, and confirm my position with the Japanese employer. If I was offered a position in Quebec, it might change my mind. Staying in Canada and learning French has other advantages.
While that's going on, I received an e-mail yesterday from yet another employer. I applied for a media relations/communications job months ago, and finally I hear back with: "After an initial review of your application, you are currently in the group of remaining candidates being considered". I just stared at those words. Then they asked me to complete a 40+ minute questionnaire. What is with employers and questionnaires? Anyway, I thought, why not? So I completed the questionnaire, and now I'm waiting to hear back. Yeah - that's right - three potential employers all at once. I didn't see this coming.
I've spent months and months scouring around for a job. Applying to as many as I could and hearing only negative responses in return. I was beginning to think that I was un-hirable. I was actually settling in with that attitude - thinking about completely throwing myself in to my writing and forgetting about a conventional job. Which was a painful concept to accept since being broke sucks. You still need money to subsist as a writer. Now I'm suddenly in a position with at least one guaranteed job and a possibility of two others. If I do hear back from either or both, then I honestly don't know what I'll do.
Each job has its positives and negatives, and they're all in different places. One in Japan, one in Quebec and one locally. While I will be confronted with some difficult decisions, I also know that I've wanted to live in Japan ever since I was a little girl. I've been in love with Japanese culture for as long as I can remember. This is a dream opportunity that may never knock again. I could say the same about the Quebec opportunity but the reality is I may never have the chance to work in Japan again. The only thing really holding me back is the trusted words of my third reference. It's my Japanese professor from university - we met again last year at my boyfriend's work Christmas party. It was like fate. Anyway, she said her friend worked for the same company and had a really negative experience. I'm waiting to hear back why she had problems - if it was related to the employer directly in some way, I may have to reconsider.
Anyway, I clearly have some upcoming decisions. Either way, things will change in a big way. What's really exciting, is that I'll have the opportunity to share my experiences with my readers. For now, it's a wait-and-see game.
Class began at 9:00 a.m. and ended at 6:00 p.m. Perhaps 9:00 a.m. doesn't sound so terrible however that means I woke up at 6:40 a.m. on Saturday morning. Not exactly ideal especially since I stayed up late Friday night. At one point during the class I was having a hard time staying awake but I pulled it back together and got my second wind.
So how did the first class go? It went fine. It was quite typical of an introductory class. We were shown marking rubrics, discussed how we would be assessed and what would happen if we didn't pass the practicum. Apparently you can simply return and do your practicum over, without any additional fees or the need to take extra classes. However if you miss more than four hours, you automatically fail and have to take the course over. Again, there are no additional fees and you can come back when you're ready. Quite fair really.
The teacher also discussed in length what sort of cultural changes to expect and the necessity to be flexible and adapt. She emphasized the importance of the journey and how the experiences shape you into a new person. Most importantly, she expressed enthusiasm at the idea of exploring the world and taking the opportunity when it presents itself. She said, "Usually opportunity only knocks once. If it knocks twice, the second time will be ten years later and you'll regret not taking it before".
I believe she's absolutely right. I'm most pleased that she is quite even handed when discussing the reality of travelling to another country; it's both intensely rewarding and challenging. Perhaps it's the challenge that makes it so rewarding.
I am excited and anxious and nervous and worried and happy and I can't wait. I want to travel to a faraway place and live somewhere new. Do something new. Become something new. I need this for me. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and see the world in a whole new light.
The instructor shared many, many anecdotes about her 7 years as an ESL teacher in Korea. They were quite enlightening. One really interesting anecdote was the reason she chose to live in Korea. She wanted to pick somewhere far enough that she couldn't swim back. She explained that she didn't want to be able to use a crutch to fall back on and return home early. She wanted to stay there and make it work, no matter what. I truly admire that. She commented that if you give yourself something to fall back on, you inevitably use it. She's right. The moment you say to yourself, "I can just return home if I want," you're really saying, "I already gave up".
I don't want to give up. I want to do my best, even if that means struggling along the way. Tomorrow is my second ESL class and I'm looking forward to it. Another step closer to my dream. Another step closer to Paris.
This morning I woke up from a dream. It was a very lucid dream and when I awoke I was surprised it wasn't real. Then I sat in contemplation wondering what the dream meant. Why did I dream about her? It made me sad. Let me tell you why.
The dream started with me taking a class. I'm not sure where I was taking this class, I could assume it was from the university but honestly that would be misleading. A dream has its own learning halls. Regardless of where, I was taking a class. I feel like it was a writing class and that in itself would be ironic. In real life I'm a writer and apparently in my dreams I am too.
So I was standing outside of the classroom, waiting for the teacher to get there. This made sense to me since all my years in university I usually spent time waiting outside the classroom. (I made a habit of being there early.) So there I am, waiting patiently when I see someone walking towards me. Someone unexpected. I froze and panicked. I thought, I should walk away, turn around, do something to hide my identity. I wasn't prepared to see this person again. Yet I couldn't I do anything, just stand and stare.
They got closer and closer until finally they were right in front of me and oddly enough, smiling. This didn't make sense to me. Since if I were to see this person again, they wouldn't be smiling. Most likely they would do their best to ignore me or worse say something horribly cruel. Instead in my dream, they stood there smiling. So I looked at them questioningly, confused and baffled by their appearance. I managed to make out the words, "I didn't know you were in this class". She smiled back and said, "I tried to tell you". She described an antiquated means of getting in contact through messenger and I was shocked. That was what we would have used before.
I remember being completely and utterly dumbfounded. I never thought in a million years I would see her again nor would she be happy to see me. From there it was just like old times somehow. We reverted back to the way we were. When the classroom opened, we sat down but I had already picked my seat apparently before I knew she was going to be there. I had placed my stuff far away from hers.
The class started and the teacher sat in the middle on top of a desk. (This isn't unusual in some university classes by the way, so the dream was not off base.) She was talking and describing something but I wasn't listening. I was too distracted by my ex-friend's sudden appearance. I still couldn't believe she was there. It didn't make any sense to me. Before I knew it we were starting an activity. We had some sheets of paper with pieces of different stories on them, maybe a song or two. Next thing I know music is playing and the teacher is coming closer to me. She's singing and dancing along and I realize I better participate. I happen to know the lyrics to the song by heart and start dancing alongside, singing as well. The teacher stops after a bit and frowns, pointing to my sheets saying I should have it opened. I blush but feel frustration cloud my mind. I knew the words, I didn't need the paper.
The teacher pointed to a student and started another segment, from a story this time. They were expected to act it out it seems. Between all the commotion my ex-friend, turned friend came over to me and started to laugh with me at the hilarity of this class. It reminded me of high school where we spent creative writing class together making fun of the teacher.
Then the dream ended abruptly, as dreams have a habit of doing. I found myself dazed and disappointed. There was a longing inside of me to have her back as a friend. I was disappointed that it wasn't true. Yet I know it's not possible. Despite the dream's optimism. The friendship seemed to be great when I had it but it ended terribly. It wasn't up to me either. She decided we weren't friends anymore. It was a stupid reason. I hadn't been available to talk with her about her millionth break-up with her long distance boyfriend. Did I mention she called on my father's birthday? Over that, over nothing, she decided to stop being friends. It seemed counter intuitive. I had always been there for her. I had always supported her and helped her any way I could. I felt like something else was the catalyst. Before that I had divulged to her some terrible news I had kept locked up and expected some warm comfort in return. Instead, she didn't want to talk about it or even try to help me. I remember being instantly frustrated and hurt, the "friendship" was like every other "friendship" I had been involved in, not reciprocal.
I would give all of myself in a friendship and never get it in return. It made me think back on what I had with her as superficial. She was incredibly judgemental and lacked compassion or empathy with others. Why would I expect she would treat me differently? I guess I thought we were best friends. It turned out that I was only her friend if I was doing something for her.
As much as I enjoyed seeing her in my dream, in real life I recognize she was well, a bitch if you don't mind me saying. I could never be friends with her again, not after the way she treated me then tossed me aside like I was garbage. She didn't know how to be friends with anyone. Honestly, people don't change that much and she's probably still a diva.
Hence why the dream seemed good but turned out bad. I guess it was similar to the very "friendship" I had with her. All in all, I don't need to be dreaming about people I never want to see again. Do you want to hear something odd? It was just her birthday three days ago.
My dreams have gotten so strange lately and I'm remembering them with such an intense frequency that I find myself writing them down. I try to write them down as much as possible. Then I try to make sense of them. Not always an easy thing to do. Sometimes I find myself a little baffled but always amazed. I love amazing, lucid dreams. They make you want to sleep, which is a big deal for me since I'm an insomniac.
The dreams are very similar. At first everything is very normal, as though I'm awake then something surprising happens. A giant catastrophe! Some sort of terrible event takes control of the entire dream and forces me into wild circumstances. I'm forced to cope with the situation by relying on my inner strength to guide me. There's usually some fighting and tense conflicts until everything slowly appears to be working out for the better. Then I wake up. I never get to see if it actually works out.
I think that just by reading this most people would make inferences about what it all means. I've left out an awful lot of details but I believe it's important to examine the bigger picture. Either way, I'm a BAMF!
I woke up from a nightmare this morning and remembered it long enough to write it down. I actually woke up crying. I had been crying in my dream and apparently crying outside of my dream as well. So after writing it all down I decided this would be a good time to briefly analyze what happened.
In the nightmare I spend all my time trying to contact my partner and eventually go searching for them. When I do find them they don't remember me and I'm horrified. In the nightmare I don't understand what's happening and my family keeps making references to an alternate reality that no longer exists. When my partner finally walks away from me and leaves me behind as an emotional wreck, I come face to face with some much deeper feelings.
I wake up and realize that I never want my partner to leave. Those were feelings I hadn't come to terms with in real life since I never thought that it was a possibility. When I had to treat it like reality I felt a severe emotional loss, comparable to a close family member. I love my partner and I'm glad it was just a tragic nightmare. I'm going to make sure they know how much I love them. I think the same goes for everyone else in my life too. I want them all to know I love and care about all of them. We never know what's going to happen. Life is unpredictable.
Dream Day is a bizarre holiday created in honour of Martin Luther King Jr. who delivered his "I Have a Dream" speech on August 28, 1963.
Everyone dreams every time they go to sleep regardless of whether they remember or not. Most people are confused about what dreaming means. There are a few theories. I think the majority of dreamers believe that dreams mean absolutely nothing and their content is generated randomly by the brain. While that could be true, it's still just one theory among numerous. Psychoanalytic theory, put forward by Freud, is that dreams are metaphorical. Their content can be analyzed for their true meanings behind the images. Then there's a completely different theory. Phenomenological theory asserts that dreams are personal to the dreamer. There's no book of dream definitions that can accurately analyze any dream because dreams are very specific to the person.
I concur with this theory. Dreaming is extremely personal. The only person that can interpret a dream is the dreamer themselves. Perhaps that seems insurmountable but there is something every dreamer can benefit from knowing. There are different types of content in a dream. Day residue and dream lag. Day residue manifests in the dream as things from every day life. This can be information from one day to one week prior to the dream. Dream lag can be content from years ago, typically memorable emotional events. Emotional events in life are highly salient causing a person to dream about it while they're asleep, demonstrating the subconscious concern. There are also different types of dreams: existential, transcendent and nightmares. Existential dreams are usually about loss, transcendent dreams are surprising and amazing, while nightmares are terrifying.
Dreaming can change depending on what's going on in your life. For those undergoing trauma or loss, dreaming can transform into something different entirely. Those who've underwent some kind of trauma may re-experience the event in their dream while those who've suffered a loss experience separation distress.
Interpreting a dream can be difficult but each person carries with them all the knowledge they need to do so. After you dream try to write down everything you remember. The more you focus on what you do remember, the more you'll be able to recall. Write down everything and try not to be overly concerned with the bizarreness. Part of the reason we have difficulty recalling details is due to the inherent bizarreness of dreaming. When we awaken our conscious mind is confused and doesn't understand the strange images. Put aside confusion and just write it down. Once you've written everything you can remember, read it. Some things will be easy to interpret while others will take a bit more time. Try to think about things that concern you. People tend to dream about what is emotionally significant in their conscious life but it's represented in a strange new way.
I hope that with this information you will be able to interpret your dreams a little easier.
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