I had the excellent fortune to attend a Just for Laughs event in my city. In case you were wondering, Just for Laughs hosts comedians to travel to different venues. I was extremely excited since I've seen their events on television numerous times but never had the opportunity to attend an event until now. It was absolutely fantastic. The show featured Last Comic Standing John Heffron along with Godfrey, Canadian comedienne Debra Digiovanni, Jim Breuer, Roman Danylo and Diana Frances. I didn't find out the show's theme until we actually arrived and it turned out to be "The Relationship Edition". Perfect for my partner and I on a night out.
Roman Danylo and Diana Frances opened the night with improv to get everyone started. They were great. With audience suggestions they turned something mundane into something exciting and hilarious. A great way to open a show and get everyone ready to laugh. John Heffron came out next and hosted the show. He did a fantastic opening bit. He discussed the difference between being in a relationship as a man in his early 20's to being a married man at 42. One of the funniest things he mentioned was going out to dinner with his wife. He goes on to say that he didn't expect a performance review. He was quite funny.
Next was Godfrey, an honest and very active comic. He brought the stage to life with hilarious comments on everyday life. He made jokes about everything from the incredibly cold Canadian weather and mitten wearing to Victoria's Secret and American Airlines. I laughed particularly hard while watching him. He really knew how to make people laugh. He was quite a ham.
There was a brief intermission before they continued on to one of the most well known and respected comics, Debra Digiovanni. If you've ever watched Much Music's Video on Trial, you would be familiar with her kind of sardonic humour. Most of her humour is self deprecating, something I truly appreciate. I like when a comic can make fun of themselves. It's too easy to make fun of others. She's really very intelligent and witty. She's the one comic I would love to meet in person. I think she'd be terrific fun.
Last but not least was Jim Breuer. In a way he was similar to John Heffron, in comedy and appearance. He also commented on the inner workings of marriage but extended it to having children. After he was done I couldn't help but be more afraid of the possibility of ever having children. Children are a handful. Regardless, all the comedians were truly on their game. I appreciated every minute. I love to laugh. If Just for Laughs returns, I will be there.
I think making a distinction between love and obsession is very important. Many people have the two confused in to one ambiguous amalgam.
Obsession: Obsession can feel like love. Someone experiencing feelings of obsession towards someone else will feel an overwhelming desire to be with them at any capacity. They want to be near them all the time. It is similar to infatuation. Obsession is the advanced stage of infatuation. It starts with a crush. You see someone and you like them. Sometimes what someone calls "love at first sight" is purely a superficial reaction with no real substance. You find them attractive so the crush begins. Following that you try to get closer to them, perhaps not in the traditional sense. You might ask others about them or more commonly these days, Facebook stalk them.
This sort of behaviour continues. Depending on the person, the proximity to the crush can vary. In some instances the obsession can occur with a celebrity, so it would be incredibly difficult to get close to them at any capacity. People who develop obsessions tend to view their crush as better than themselves yet they have a belief that since they "love" them so very much that it makes up for any shortcomings, this is a significant point. If the crush is someone they can interact with it is a different situation. In many cases they attempt to become friends and once that has been accomplished they dream about being more.
For some the closest they get is the "friendship". Some of them claim they've been put in the "friend zone". Just because you're nice to someone doesn't mean they owe you a relationship or anything else for that matter. Being nice should be standard for everyone.
Whatever the relationship between the obsessed and the obsession, it can never be genuine. The obsessed is ultimately selfish. They want that person all to themselves. They become intensely jealous and angry when their crush is involved with anyone they might view as a threat. It doesn't even have to be a romantic threat or a credible one, everyone else is suddenly a threat. Obsessions are ultimately negative and can become dangerous. Although the person experiencing the obsession may feel as though they are the only one who truly loves their crush Love is the wrong word.
Some obsessions can become lethal. It can develop into an unhealthy relationship, stalking or in extreme cases, life threatening. Obsessions are not only bad for the person being obsessed over but they are bad for the person experiencing these extreme emotions. If you feel like any of these feelings ring true for you regardless of the degree of obsession, you need to take a step back and really think about why you feel that way. You don't love them. If it was love it would be mutual.
Love: Love is a beautiful, glorious thing. It is nearly indescribable. It is not like obsession. The most important distinction is that feelings of love are mutual. Love doesn't appear right away. It can develop out of infatuation but it is rare. It is more likely to develop as a tense mix of emotions and confusion into the intoxicating sensation of being loved and loving back.
Another significant difference between love and obsession are the emotions. Obsession will leave someone feeling an odd intensity akin to loathing. Ultimately, it's a mixture of negative emotions. Love is different. Love leaves you feeling free, not trapped, for both parties involved. It's practically a whirlwind of confusion and positive emotions. Love is selfless. Love is easy. Most importantly, love is unconditional. Once you have truly loved someone it is permanent, you will never stop loving them no matter what. Sometimes a break-up can truly define whether you experienced love or not. If you end up hating them and wishing you never met, it was never truly love.
The best indicators of a long lasting relationship are oddly the people closest to you like friends or family. People uninvolved in the relationship are able to have a more objective perspective (dependent on the fact they're not obsessed with you). They can determine the legitimacy and longevity of the relationship. If you're enjoying the rose coloured glasses of a relationship, you might not want to ask. Just enjoy what you have no matter what it is. Nothing lasts forever.
I woke up from a nightmare this morning and remembered it long enough to write it down. I actually woke up crying. I had been crying in my dream and apparently crying outside of my dream as well. So after writing it all down I decided this would be a good time to briefly analyze what happened.
In the nightmare I spend all my time trying to contact my partner and eventually go searching for them. When I do find them they don't remember me and I'm horrified. In the nightmare I don't understand what's happening and my family keeps making references to an alternate reality that no longer exists. When my partner finally walks away from me and leaves me behind as an emotional wreck, I come face to face with some much deeper feelings.
I wake up and realize that I never want my partner to leave. Those were feelings I hadn't come to terms with in real life since I never thought that it was a possibility. When I had to treat it like reality I felt a severe emotional loss, comparable to a close family member. I love my partner and I'm glad it was just a tragic nightmare. I'm going to make sure they know how much I love them. I think the same goes for everyone else in my life too. I want them all to know I love and care about all of them. We never know what's going to happen. Life is unpredictable.
I've been driving a motorcycle for 2 years now and there's only one thing you really need to know: it's fun! My motorcycle is a 2006 Suzuki Bandit 650S (right). It performs like a dream. It handles smoothly and accelerates quickly. It's very nimble!
The second most important thing you need to know (if you're still reading past the "fun" comment): it's dangerous. Well I suppose anyone could have told you that. I'm sure if you told your mother you were buying a motorcycle (or have), their reaction would be to tell you how dangerous it is. She's right. It is dangerous. If you're not cautious and don't play it safe, you're opening yourself up to all sorts of pain.
I remember my very first time getting on it. I just received my learner's license and was with my father, who also drives one. Let's just say he gave me very simple instructions. I sat on it, started it then put it in to first. I stalled it. More than once. Then I finally put it in first and got it to go! Suffice to say, I wasn't sure how to go straight or steer at all, so I kind of drove in a diagonal line before falling altogether. Luckily, I was going relatively slow, so the only real damage was to my ego.
I tried again and again, on different outings, before I was able to finally steer and switch gears properly. When I got a handle on it my dad and I drove on our bikes together. That was something I had never experienced before. I think what's funny about all of that is we were prepping for my motorcycle course. So when I finally went to the course I was already driving and everyone else had never driven before! I was light years ahead! Unfortunately, if I had waited to go to the course, I might not have fallen. Maybe fathers aren't always the best teachers. You know what though, falling made me realize I never wanted to do that again. It built character!
Like I said, driving a motorcycle is fun, so long as you're careful. If you're not the careful type, I would probably suggest not driving a motorcycle. I was sitting at a red light once when it turned green. In my attempt to accelerate I accidentally popped a wheelie! I heard a few cheers, I guess from people who thought I was doing it on purpose, but my heart was in my throat as I racked my brain trying to figure out how to land without falling. Luckily I was able to land it but I was shaken for awhile. That's not really something you want to happen by accident.
Lizzie Borden took an axe
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father forty-one.
The question remains: did Lizzie Borden murder her mother and father? Honestly, there's no clear answer. They never found the murder weapon or blood evidence yet they barred her testimony from the trial and excluded the prussic acid she purchased. Not to mention the dress she burned in the stove, claiming it was ruined from a paint smear. Sounds pretty suspicious.
Lizzie was 32 at time of the alleged murder. She was definitely mature enough to be able to cover up a murder but did she have motive? Let's just say that her father was a cheap, cruel bastard. For instance, Lizzie had been keeping pet pigeons in a barn, happily tending to them everyday, when one day she found them decapitated. He chopped off their heads with an axe because he didn't want boys coming around the barn. He also refused to upgrade to modern conveniences like indoor plumbing and bought cheap meat, leaving it on the stove for days while it spoiled. On top of that, she was never close with her stepmother, most likely resenting her for replacing her dead mother.
Then there's the motive of money. Her father was very wealthy. Relative to today, he would still be considered extremely wealthy. Upon her father's death, her sister and her split the assets.
Still not convinced? There was a theory that it could have been the maid but it doesn't seem to quite fit if you think about it. The maid was only 26, rather young compared to Lizzie and on top of that, lacking in clear motive. Another theory points to her father's illegitimate son seeking revenge but that doesn't seem plausible either.
In my opinion, she did it. The only reason they didn't convict her in 1893 was because she was a woman. Women weren't people. Women couldn't think rationally. Women couldn't even vote. The judge and jury probably just scoffed at the idea of a woman murdering anyone and decided to let her go. So she got away with it. She knew what she was doing. She got rid of the evidence and let the system fail on it's own. She knew they wouldn't convict a woman of murder nor would their investigative abilities be good enough to discover any real evidence. In fact they could have used fingerprinting but the police doing the investigation didn't trust it yet.
Times certainly have changed. If Lizzie Borden had murdered her parents today, I doubt she would have gotten away with it.
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